Hair loss = Overflowing Joy!

Why do we woman spend so much time fussing with our hair? We wash it, condition it, and apply all sorts of gels, mousse, styling agents. We dry it, curl it, and straighten it, spray it, and on and on. Even after we spend so much time and money on our hair, we are never happy with it, and complain that it is too straight or too curly! Why? Because it’s one of the first things we notice about other women, so we want our hair to “look its best”. 

So when I heard it was 100% probable that I would be losing mine, of course I was devastated at first. So what did I do? I took it the feet of Jesus, and said “This is something I would prefer not to happen, but if it is meant for a purpose and will bring glory to you, so be it”.

I felt as if God was saying, “Yes, you will lose your hair, something that just needs to happen in order for you to trust Me more.” I decided His ways are better than mine, so I decided to trust Him.

Funny thing about trusting Jesus; do we really mean it when we say we trust him? If we do, then why do we worry, and have anxiety, and are fearful? When we say to Jesus, “I will trust you,” then we have to do just that; trust him at his word because he is Faithful and Trustworthy.

Weeks ago, at my last hair appointment, my hair dresser and I talked about my probable hair loss. We decided that at the first signs of my hair falling out, I would call her and she would speed the process with the help of her shears. Of course we were praying for a miracle, but if God decided otherwise, then I would call her. When I notice the first signs, I was at work; strange feeling when you can pull out handfuls of hair. You would think I would have freaked out, been upset, screamed, or cried or something, but I didn’t. Instead, I was totally calm, even peaceful. This was the Grace of God! Thank you Jesus!

This was on a Tuesday. I called my hairdresser, and she was not at home. Wednesdays are her day off so, at the earliest, it would have to be Thursday. The Dr. told me when my hair started to come out, it would happen pretty quickly. Not what I wanted to remember if I had to wait two days to get my head shaved. Especially since I was working in a dental office leaning over patients! Again, I could have cried, panicked, worried, and been anxious, but I did the only thing I KNEW that works; take it to the feet of Jesus. I told Him, “You know my situation, and I can’t get an appointment for two days, so please hold my hair in place till I can get an appointment” Now I had to rest in the Lord and TRUST in Jesus.

As I was losing hair, I asked Jesus, if he still knew the number of hairs on my head?! The bible says in Matthew 10:30 that He even knows the number of hair on our head. I was surprised when he said that, “Nothing is too impossible for me!”

In the meantime my beautiful friend Elaine gave me little clips to help hold my hair in place while I went to work. (Nothing like having you hair falling out while leaning over your patients in a dental chair. Not good!)

Thank God He granted me favor and held my hair in place till I could get an appointment! My boss was very gracious to give me the time to leave work to get the task done. My dear friend Elaine, also left her job as a teacher, and had someone cover for her to be with me. She even brought bagels and coffee. We had a great time, preparing my hair in little pony tails all over my head, so I could donate it to Locks of Love. Then the shaving began! It was almost a relief to have it over and done with.

I tell you the truth, I was not anxious, scared, or fearful. I was truly filled with overflowing Joy, almost giddy. I can’t explain it, except that it’s a God thing.

I am learning more lessons about really trusting in Jesus, not just saying the words, but when the rubber meets the road, truly trusting in the God of the universe! Thank you, Jesus, for your faithfulness and for overflowing joy!

Chemo-therapy… continuing the Joy.

 February 5, 2011

It has been little more than a week since my first treatment, 1 down 3 to go.

Loss of hair 100% probability, nausea, loss of appetite, diarrhea, and constipation, serve fatigue, dehydration, mouth sores, and loss of feeling in fingers, cracked sore finger nails; these are only some of the side effects that could be experienced. I pray in Jesus name I receive only the benefits of the Chemo and not the bad! My prayer buddies are doing the same. Thank you Jesus for praying friends.

My wonderful husband drove me to the hospital where we had planned to spend much of the day waiting while I received my treatment.  Warren was armed with his computer, sermon notes, and books; for me, my new knitting project with yarn we had purchased in Peru on a mission trip this past summer. After I was all hooked up, I started my new scarf, knit, purl, ssk, yo, k2tog, p2togbl, not an easy pattern, but not too difficult either. That was until they also started a Benadryl drip to prevent a reaction to one of the chemo drugs. I started to see my knits as purls, purls as knits, and what the heck is a ssk, and what row am I on. So, after starting and restarting, about four times, I decided not a good time to knit.

Besides not being able to focus on knitting, I was able to tolerate the drugs well, and they opened the line up for it to drip faster. We were home before we knew it. Thank you Jesus, I did not experience any nausea at all!

A few days before my treatment, I started to have a slight cough and a runny nose. After some encouragement from my husband, I called the Dr and informed him. Not a problem, as long as no fever or infection. So treatment was given. A few days after treatment, my cold takes a nose dive and so does my energy. It took all my energy to get out of bed and get a shower. Now I had to make breakfast, eat, drive to work, and work 9 hours. The thought of it was even more than I could bear. “Jesus help me!” I cried out. And I sat down to read my bible and devotional. This is what my devotional said for that morning…

I am your strength and your shield. I plan each new day and have a plan for you long before you arise from bed. I also provide the strength you need each step of the way. Instead of assessing your energy level and wondering about what’s on the road ahead concentrate on staying in touch with Me. My power flows freely through into you through our open communication. Refuse to waste energy worrying, and you will have strength to spare.

Whenever you start to feel afraid, remember that I am you Shield. But unlike inanimate armor, I am always alert and active. My presence watches over you continually, protecting you from both known and unknown dangers. Entrust yourself to my watchcare, which is the best security system available. I am with you and watch over you wherever you go.

Thank you Jesus for knowing what I need before I need it. I have called on the name of Jesus more times than I can count this week. Working with zero energy was only accomplished by calling on His name 100 times throughout my day. Thank you Jesus for being my Shield.

Not by coincidence, a good friend of mine gave me a card that read…

Shield: Defense Armor

The word Shield was common symbol for God’s protection.

Psalm 3:3 But you, O Lord are a Shield for me, My Glory and the one who lifts up my head.

I thank you Jesus I am sitting here now with renewed strength, claiming the Joy of the IS MY Strength and My Shield!