Thank you Jesus for taking me through the fire!

Thank you Jesus for taking me through the fire!

I can’t believe I am finished with all my treatments; surgery, chemo, and radiation all now in the past.  Thank you Lord for giving me Your strength, peace, and Joy though this journey.

I found the lump in October, diagnosed in November, had the surgery in December, started chemo in January, radiation in May, and finished in July!

I had 36 treatments of radiation, and went every morning before work. Everyone was telling me, it was worse than the chemo, but I refused to accept those words. I continued to pray, along with all my friends and family at West Ridge Christian Community Church, that God would allow my body to accept only the good of the radiation and none of the bad, just as we did for the chemo.

God was not only faithful to do just that, He made it actually pleasant to go every day. He put an outstanding crew of people in my path, Dr. Carol, Kelly, Willy, Tracy, Loretta, Jennifer, and of course Michelle. It was like I was going to see new friends instead of some scary treatment to be afraid of. Thank you Jesus for being with me and helping me take something that could have been fearful and making it joyful.

What did I learn from this journey?

I learned what it REALLY means to trust Jesus!

Have I always trusted in Jesus? I would have to say yes, or at least I thought I did, but this journey, has shown me a much deeper level of trust, more than I could ever imagine. There were times when I had to choose to trust Him, or trust in the lies of fear, anxiety, or self pity. When I chose to trust Jesus, He was and is always faithful.  

I learned that God’s love is so amazing, He loves us so much and in so many ways we can’t even begin to understand. Every day I am overwhelmed by His love!

My husband told our church family during one of his sermons, that he would rather go through this journey with me then spent the time away from me on a paradise island! Thank you Jesus for giving me a husband who loves me through your eyes!

I learned I don't want to go on any journey, if God is not going with me!

I also learned that God’s ways are not always our ways, but His ways are always better. Who would have thought you could have joy fighting cancer? With God, all things are possible, and I think choosing Joy, is the best way to fight anything!

Thank you Jesus for helping me to choose Joy, and taking me though this journey!

Spreading the Joy

“Spreading the Joy”

It always amazes me how God will put people in our path so we can give them an encouraging word, a smile, open a door, or lift them up in prayer, that is if we choose to listen and obey His leading.

This has been happening a lot to me. God has crossed my path with a number of women who have been though treatment and are still fearful, women who are currently in treatment, some who have just been diagnosed and unsure of their future, and some who are waiting for test results. In all cases, God has allowed me to share His joy, to encourage them, giving them the hope of Christ.

I have been blessed by so many wonderful friends who have offered help in many ways, bring meals over after a treatment, sending cards, fruit baskets, and gift cards, and knitting me a beautiful pink scarf, thank you Shirley!  I am so overwhelmed and thankful for all your encouragement and prayers! I thank you all!  Thank you Jesus for beautiful friends, bless them Lord!

I have felt so protected, and shielded, like I’m under the shadow of God’s loving arms. I had no idea My dear friend Lisa, who is a mighty prayer warrior, was praying for me during one of my chemo treatments and felt like the Lord impressed upon her to pray especially for me to abide under the shadow of his protection, and in the shadow of His love; also that God would cover me in His shadow just like a shield of protection! God is so good and faithful! He knows just what we need and when we need it.

So many people have spoken words of encouragement and scripture in my life. A dear friend wrote a verse in a card that was from Habakkuk 3:18-19. My husband was at a conference and a man he had just met had the same scripture for me. It says, “Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to go on to new heights.”

My wonderful  amazing husband has been a huge help to me though all of this, and needed a much deserved day off, so he went  skiing last Monday and unfortunately broke his collarbone. Needless to say he is out of commission for at least four weeks. His arm/shoulder is in a sling and has to be completely immobile. I thank God for his strength in me for the time being carry us both. A funny thing he said was, “Ohhh, more Joy!”

I thank you Lord for giving me the strength to share Your Joy with others, and to go on to new heights. Help me to stay so close to You that I will sense Your presence in all things!  Amen.  

Hair loss = Overflowing Joy!

Why do we woman spend so much time fussing with our hair? We wash it, condition it, and apply all sorts of gels, mousse, styling agents. We dry it, curl it, and straighten it, spray it, and on and on. Even after we spend so much time and money on our hair, we are never happy with it, and complain that it is too straight or too curly! Why? Because it’s one of the first things we notice about other women, so we want our hair to “look its best”. 

So when I heard it was 100% probable that I would be losing mine, of course I was devastated at first. So what did I do? I took it the feet of Jesus, and said “This is something I would prefer not to happen, but if it is meant for a purpose and will bring glory to you, so be it”.

I felt as if God was saying, “Yes, you will lose your hair, something that just needs to happen in order for you to trust Me more.” I decided His ways are better than mine, so I decided to trust Him.

Funny thing about trusting Jesus; do we really mean it when we say we trust him? If we do, then why do we worry, and have anxiety, and are fearful? When we say to Jesus, “I will trust you,” then we have to do just that; trust him at his word because he is Faithful and Trustworthy.

Weeks ago, at my last hair appointment, my hair dresser and I talked about my probable hair loss. We decided that at the first signs of my hair falling out, I would call her and she would speed the process with the help of her shears. Of course we were praying for a miracle, but if God decided otherwise, then I would call her. When I notice the first signs, I was at work; strange feeling when you can pull out handfuls of hair. You would think I would have freaked out, been upset, screamed, or cried or something, but I didn’t. Instead, I was totally calm, even peaceful. This was the Grace of God! Thank you Jesus!

This was on a Tuesday. I called my hairdresser, and she was not at home. Wednesdays are her day off so, at the earliest, it would have to be Thursday. The Dr. told me when my hair started to come out, it would happen pretty quickly. Not what I wanted to remember if I had to wait two days to get my head shaved. Especially since I was working in a dental office leaning over patients! Again, I could have cried, panicked, worried, and been anxious, but I did the only thing I KNEW that works; take it to the feet of Jesus. I told Him, “You know my situation, and I can’t get an appointment for two days, so please hold my hair in place till I can get an appointment” Now I had to rest in the Lord and TRUST in Jesus.

As I was losing hair, I asked Jesus, if he still knew the number of hairs on my head?! The bible says in Matthew 10:30 that He even knows the number of hair on our head. I was surprised when he said that, “Nothing is too impossible for me!”

In the meantime my beautiful friend Elaine gave me little clips to help hold my hair in place while I went to work. (Nothing like having you hair falling out while leaning over your patients in a dental chair. Not good!)

Thank God He granted me favor and held my hair in place till I could get an appointment! My boss was very gracious to give me the time to leave work to get the task done. My dear friend Elaine, also left her job as a teacher, and had someone cover for her to be with me. She even brought bagels and coffee. We had a great time, preparing my hair in little pony tails all over my head, so I could donate it to Locks of Love. Then the shaving began! It was almost a relief to have it over and done with.

I tell you the truth, I was not anxious, scared, or fearful. I was truly filled with overflowing Joy, almost giddy. I can’t explain it, except that it’s a God thing.

I am learning more lessons about really trusting in Jesus, not just saying the words, but when the rubber meets the road, truly trusting in the God of the universe! Thank you, Jesus, for your faithfulness and for overflowing joy!

Chemo-therapy… continuing the Joy.

 February 5, 2011

It has been little more than a week since my first treatment, 1 down 3 to go.

Loss of hair 100% probability, nausea, loss of appetite, diarrhea, and constipation, serve fatigue, dehydration, mouth sores, and loss of feeling in fingers, cracked sore finger nails; these are only some of the side effects that could be experienced. I pray in Jesus name I receive only the benefits of the Chemo and not the bad! My prayer buddies are doing the same. Thank you Jesus for praying friends.

My wonderful husband drove me to the hospital where we had planned to spend much of the day waiting while I received my treatment.  Warren was armed with his computer, sermon notes, and books; for me, my new knitting project with yarn we had purchased in Peru on a mission trip this past summer. After I was all hooked up, I started my new scarf, knit, purl, ssk, yo, k2tog, p2togbl, not an easy pattern, but not too difficult either. That was until they also started a Benadryl drip to prevent a reaction to one of the chemo drugs. I started to see my knits as purls, purls as knits, and what the heck is a ssk, and what row am I on. So, after starting and restarting, about four times, I decided not a good time to knit.

Besides not being able to focus on knitting, I was able to tolerate the drugs well, and they opened the line up for it to drip faster. We were home before we knew it. Thank you Jesus, I did not experience any nausea at all!

A few days before my treatment, I started to have a slight cough and a runny nose. After some encouragement from my husband, I called the Dr and informed him. Not a problem, as long as no fever or infection. So treatment was given. A few days after treatment, my cold takes a nose dive and so does my energy. It took all my energy to get out of bed and get a shower. Now I had to make breakfast, eat, drive to work, and work 9 hours. The thought of it was even more than I could bear. “Jesus help me!” I cried out. And I sat down to read my bible and devotional. This is what my devotional said for that morning…

I am your strength and your shield. I plan each new day and have a plan for you long before you arise from bed. I also provide the strength you need each step of the way. Instead of assessing your energy level and wondering about what’s on the road ahead concentrate on staying in touch with Me. My power flows freely through into you through our open communication. Refuse to waste energy worrying, and you will have strength to spare.

Whenever you start to feel afraid, remember that I am you Shield. But unlike inanimate armor, I am always alert and active. My presence watches over you continually, protecting you from both known and unknown dangers. Entrust yourself to my watchcare, which is the best security system available. I am with you and watch over you wherever you go.

Thank you Jesus for knowing what I need before I need it. I have called on the name of Jesus more times than I can count this week. Working with zero energy was only accomplished by calling on His name 100 times throughout my day. Thank you Jesus for being my Shield.

Not by coincidence, a good friend of mine gave me a card that read…

Shield: Defense Armor

The word Shield was common symbol for God’s protection.

Psalm 3:3 But you, O Lord are a Shield for me, My Glory and the one who lifts up my head.

I thank you Jesus I am sitting here now with renewed strength, claiming the Joy of the IS MY Strength and My Shield!

Choosing Joy thorough the Journey

Diagnosis Breast Cancer…. Choosing JOY through the journey.

January 14^th 2011

I’m sitting here now with surgery behind me, thank you Jesus for a successful surgery. Still having slight pain, but the majority of it behind me.

I go see the chemotherapy Dr. today. Lord, help me to keep the attitude of Joy. It is not by my strength, but only by yours. Help me Jesus!  

I think back to when I first found the lump in my breast, beginning of October 2010. I remember saying “No matter what, I am going to choose JOY. If the news is good or bad, it does not matter, I am making my mind to choose JOY, and I wanted God to be glorified in all of it.” That was and, by God’s grace, has been my attitude since.

Coincidently, or not, at that time, I was participating in a Beth Moore Bible study at WRCCC on Daniel. I have a new appreciation for Daniel. Daniel also made up his mind to serve God and no other from the beginning. When he was faced to serve another god, there was no choice for him; it was the one true GOD all the way. Daniel paid a price for his choice, but Jesus paid the highest price of all.

Beth Moore made a point of saying, “When you are faced with a crisis in your life you have choices, 1) you can panic, 2) you can become paralyzed, 3) you can pray.” I choose to pray. I thank God for all those who are standing with me to pray. Lord, bless them all!

Coincidently again, or not, Beth Moore also made the comparison of Daniel in the lion’s den with facing Breast Cancer. When you are facing any crisis, God will do one of three things. 1) Take you out of the fire. (That would be my 1^st choice!)  2) Take you through the fire. 3) Take you through and into His arms.

When you think about it.  God is with you (me) through any scenario, so we can’t lose.

After I had the biopsy and before the results, I when to NY for a missions trip to minister to women in a shelter, and also the homeless on the streets.

I met Rose on the bus on the way up to NY; she was from Greater Works Church, and a wonderful woman of God. I could tell just by her presence. I did not know anything else about her, nor did she know much about me. I had not shared with anyone about the lump or the biopsy. We shared a room together and the next morning, during our quiet time, Rose said to me, “Jan, I believe this word is for you”.

Rose read to me from Isaiah 12:2-6.

“Surely God is my salvation. I will trust and not be afraid.  The Lord, the Lord is my strength and my song. He has become my salvation. With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.

In that day you will say; Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done, and proclaim that his name is exalted. Sing to the Lord for he has done glorious things; let this be known to all the world. Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion for great is the Holy One of Israel among you.”

                                                               

The next day, I received the news from my Dr. that I had breast cancer. It amazes me how God cares about our every detail. He loves us so much. He used a stranger, who was obedient to Him, to tell me that he will take me through this fire, and I should trust him and not be afraid. I can’t believe he even added the joy part. LOL! “With joy you will draw water from the wells of my salvation.” A dear friend reminded me that the word salvation used here is also translated healing! God continues to remind me of His love for me. I am in awe at His attention to our every need. He is always there; it’s that sometimes we are not so much aware of Him. If we stop and take the time to see, and listen, we will see Him in so many ways.

At the end of our Daniel study, my wonderful lady friends got together and gave me a “basket of JOY”. It had everything imaginable that pertained to joy! From plaques, hanging signs of joy, to almond joy candy bars, my friends wanted me to be reminded of joy in all things all the time! I am so thankful for wonderful friends. I love you all!

I will keep you posted on this adventure of “Journey of Joy” Every day is an adventure; it is up to us if we make it a joyous one!